Follow your Own Flow

Mixed Media Art Studies, Stephanie Kilgast

The moment I realized I had finished the daily veggie challenge and didn’t want to get back to it, I started to struggle with a daunting question.
What’s next?
I have been sculpting miniature food since 2007 and on a daily basis since 2009. The first years, my main goal was to get better and keep improving the realism of my sculptures.
In 2015, I started on a daily sculpting challenge and focused on sculpting a different fruit or vegetable per day, because my journey towards vegetarianism and veganism was so strong in my mind, it had to find a way out in my work.

That daily challenge resulted in a lot of positive things but also in the realization that my sculpting skills had greatly improved and that I did not want to go in the direction of so called art-ivism.
And, maybe more importantly, I realized I grew tired of sculpting miniature food.

Over the last weeks, I cried a lot, I sculpted even more and while I’m typing my artistic road isn’t clear in my mind.
But after a lot of talking, I came to the conclusion that it just doesn’t matter all that much.
It doesn’t matter not knowing what you are creating, or not knowing how to approach creation.
Fear of the unknown is completely ok, but you have to overstep it to progress.
The important thing in art, and I think life, is to keep going, even if the road is unsure or scary.
Also, and maybe crucial to me, is to not always overthink every step carefully.
Because you can not plan your life ahead, and you surely can not plan your art.
You have to let both flow and grab opportunities or challenges when you see some.
It is an eternal struggle between the wish to have everything under control and simply living or creating.

Once I accepted that, I could just dive into the unknown and for the last week, I’ve been producing tiny 10 cm squares of art.
It started with a simple wish, to recreate the abstract beauty of planets… somehow.
Unsurprisingly, my first studies were very much galaxy related, which I did not like. My small goal was to do something more abstract, and the second next where a lot more simpler and much better.
The last two ones took it a step further and finally I made one on a white background, just to see if I could do something just remotely abstract.
Now I’m headed toward micro-biology and I also started a beautiful caterpillar.
Yes, I’m all over the place, but I see no other option.
I can not sit and wait for a revelation, because nothing is going to come if I don’t go seek for it.

In the end, I hope by sharing my journey, it might help you out if you are stuck in a routine you do not enjoy anymore.
It is a long and scary process, but it is also fascinating and uplifting to see your own journey unfold.

xx

Stéphanie

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